I hope I am not boasting when I say that I
know a little bit about Christ in the desert.
I lived with Christ in the Desert for almost seven years. I got to know Christ in the Desert very
well. You see that was the name of the
Monastery I joined in
About eighty miles north of
I had incredible experiences of
beauty and prayer at Christ in the Desert.
I also had the worst times of my life, the times when I felt totally
abandoned by God, by my brothers, and even nature. There were times when I felt nothing could
touch the transcendent goodness and sweetness of God and that life was so good
that if I died then in my twenties, no number of lifetimes could make me
happier. And there were times when I felt nothing could resist the awful wickedness
of humanity and I felt in the depths of a bottomless pit. Barbara Brown Taylor, a famous Episcopal
preacher says, “There is something about a desert that can suck all the
self-confidence right out of you. It is
so big, so empty that you cannot help noticing how small and perishable you are.” I would say that hits the nail on the
head. In those times when the
self-confidence was sucked out of me
I learned the meaning of Ash Wednesday:
Remember thou art dust and to dust thou shallt return.
Matthew in our Gospel story
today says it happened this way: In the
desert, Jesus experienced not only physical hunger, stark loneliness, and
self-doubt. But He was not alone. There were two characters in this drama and
Jesus was tempted by the Great Tempter to “have” by turning the stones into
bread, to “do” by throwing him self upon the rocks, and to “be” by grabbing power and glory for
himself. I doubt any of us will
experience the devil so clearly and plainly as a Character in our story. It is not that we couldn’t handle it, it’s
that he is too clever for that. As
followers of Jesus today, we will hear a “devilish” voice in our heads that
says things like “if you are a child of God, shouldn’t things be going a little
smoother for you. If you are a real
Christian, shouldn’t you be more prosperous (like Joel Osteen for example)? Shouldn’t you be happier, healthier, more
attractive, and richer? The real devil
works by sucking the self confidence out of us.
Each one of us has a hole in our hearts that only God can fill, but the
great tempter abhors a vacuum and leads us to look for the substitutes, the
bogus, the fix, the next drink, the next cigarette, the shopping trip, applause
from our brothers and sisters, the clap on the back that says you’re O.K. don’t
worry about it, the deal of a life time, the old flame that loves us more that our
wife could ever know or Mister Right or Mister right now, the thrill victory
when our candidate or political party crushes every enemy in sight, our moment
in the sun, our shining moment of oh so sweet success—to mention only a few of his tricks. Christ in the desert was not fooled by
having, and doing, and being. He waited,
and waited, and after he resisted filling that hole, after he resisted more
temptation than we can dream of and when he least expected it, Angels came and
ministered to him.
There is a song (you know it, I
bet Isaac) that I will only mention today and Easter Sunday. It is called, “You Raise Me Up and the words
go something like this.
When I am
down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Yes, we have a hole that only
God can fill. When we are down, only God can really lift us up to be more than
we can be. Amen.